tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88198419448586923302024-02-21T00:00:47.688-08:00Thinking WomenJenny Thigpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137266663521304495noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8819841944858692330.post-20544464112740464172015-01-29T15:09:00.000-08:002015-01-30T14:42:17.315-08:00Family, Football, and Feminism. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Optima;">I’ll be honest. I’m
relatively new to football fandom. A somewhat undersized and uncoordinated
person raised in and by a family of jocks, I’ve spent my life mostly resisting
and resenting sports. If playing sports seemed distasteful to me growing up, <i>watching </i>sports was even worse. In my
family, we joke that my lifelong loathing of sports (particularly baseball) has
to do with sheer overexposure. By the time I was ten, I’d been <s>dragged to</s>
watched hundreds of live sporting events. Moreover, as feminist, football fandom is sometimes--at best--an uneasy fit. At least the NFL seems somewhat more interested in the players than the cheerleaders than in days past. Yet, other issues of equality (class as well as gender and race) persist. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Optima;">So it’s as much a surprise
to me as to anyone that at middle-age, I find myself a football fan. Part of it
has to do with the weather. Living in the Pacific Northwest, football watching
offers something to do when it’s too cold to go outside. But mostly, I find
myself watching because of my ten year old son, who loves football and is
becoming freakishly knowledgeable about the sport (and who will patiently
explain the technical aspects to me again and again…and again until I get it).
Watching football gives us a shared activity and point of reference. Having a
shared team (Go Seahawks!!) is even better. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Optima;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Optima;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlz1q_T0Wul1VlgZTiP36vb2CMezx1txP4vSi5speE6fHZmBZE1mHDy1je2BueIKzd0Wy8-FmaQJKOBjj2F_N8HdhPLKK6PIt19U9D57ifclInkodQkg6w-rsuE_LBFVPBNoNfe2GoH-AF/s1600/Seahawks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlz1q_T0Wul1VlgZTiP36vb2CMezx1txP4vSi5speE6fHZmBZE1mHDy1je2BueIKzd0Wy8-FmaQJKOBjj2F_N8HdhPLKK6PIt19U9D57ifclInkodQkg6w-rsuE_LBFVPBNoNfe2GoH-AF/s1600/Seahawks.jpg" height="200" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Optima;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Optima;">So lately I’ve not just
been watching a lot of football, but actually <i>following </i>it. Mostly, I involve myself in trying to know “our” team
and trying to identify how they are different (and, let’s face it, better) than
other teams. For me that has to do with
the players. We spend a lot of time in our house talking about<a href="https://www.facebook.com/DangerRussWilson"> Russell Wilson</a>,
<a href="http://richard%20sherman/">Richard Sherman</a>, and <a href="http://j.r.%20sweezy/">Sweezy</a> (which we all think is really fun to say). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Optima;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Optima;">Lately,
though, we are talking about <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MoneyLynch">Marshawn Lynch</a>. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Optima;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB55DwDmdKMCVCEjq_iSqyy6gEHALrnA0TiYusdprAXq21nsAxF4zxOq82drwSyMmYjqWIGAGaXLi__XH_GtZVhrSn4903ztsg8JM-rPgmac4ZMQNxu8ho7_XS6XAeeYFrqPHiWICNL5iy/s1600/Marshawn-Lynch-Candy-Testing-Machine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB55DwDmdKMCVCEjq_iSqyy6gEHALrnA0TiYusdprAXq21nsAxF4zxOq82drwSyMmYjqWIGAGaXLi__XH_GtZVhrSn4903ztsg8JM-rPgmac4ZMQNxu8ho7_XS6XAeeYFrqPHiWICNL5iy/s1600/Marshawn-Lynch-Candy-Testing-Machine.jpg" height="160" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Optima;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Optima;">The media, certainly, has
had a lot to say about him, focusing mostly on the negative stuff: his refusal
to “engage” with the press, his end zone crotch grabs, his 2012 arrest. I’ve
seen him referred to as a “thug.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Optima;">Still, my son could learn a
thing or two from Marshawn Lynch. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Optima;">If that seems like a surprising
thing to say, consider some of the other things
I’ve come to understand about Lynch—things that earn less attention in the
media. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: Optima;">He is a man who
demonstrates some important traits of character, most notably, grit, humility, loyalty, introspection, and sensitivity. His talent (which is both considerable and
totally undeniable) may be the <i>least </i>interesting
thing about him—at least from a mom’s perspective. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Optima;">Let’s start with grit—this
is a characteristic that is difficult to teach and harder to practice. It’s
hard to have grit (which is why they call it grit, I suppose). But grit is the
thing that we ought to reward most in our kids. Getting a good grade or excelling
at a sport is good, but getting a good (or even decent) grade that you had to
scrap for? Even better. We talk about grit a lot in our house--</span><span style="font-family: Optima;">both because it's hard to teach middle-class kids --</span><span style="font-family: Optima;">who don't ever *really* know what it is to struggle--and because it's so important.</span><span style="font-family: Optima;"> Lacking extreme privilege, grit is the single most important factor--even more than </span><span style="font-family: Optima;">luck or skill-- that determines a person's success in any endeavor. I earned my Ph.D. not because I am the smartest person I know--nor was I the smartest person in my program (not by a long shot) but rather because I was stubborn and persistent. My experience offers a good example to my kids, but is probably not as compelling to them at Lynch's. </span><span style="font-family: Optima;">The only way a person gets to be as good at something as Lynch is at football is through grit. Practicing again and again and again. Playing when you’re sick, playing when the media is giving you a hard time, practicing when you think you’re already good enough. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Optima;">Loyalty. I won’t lie. I’m
not wild about the crotch grab. In fact, I hate it. As the NFL struggles to create a climate that
appears more hospitable—or least less hostile—to women and to combat
allegations about sexual and physical abuse against women among its players,
the sexually aggressive gesture is a problem. Whether the gesture is
unconscious or not, as a woman and as a mom, I have reasons of my own for
wishing Lynch (and others) wouldn’t do it. Still, Pete Carroll has said that—in
light of the league’s threat to penalize the team for such behavior on during
the Super Bowl—he is confident that Lynch will refrain on Sunday because Lynch
won’t do anything that would hurt his team. I have to believe that ultimately,
he’ll give it up for good because the gesture is hurtful to women, who are also
part of his team. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Optima;">Humility. While some read
Lynch’s stubborn refusal to talk to the media as inflated ego, it feel to me
much more like humility. Lynch doesn’t talk about “Beast Mode.” He just does it. And though no one would
blame him for engaging in a little self-aggrandizement, maybe he doesn’t feel
the need for it. When my son brought home a report card which surpassed our
expectations as well as his own, we expressed how proud we were of him, telling
him that he had gone into “Beast Mode”--in even his hardest subjects. When we
asked how <i>he</i> felt about it, he
responded only with a small, pleased smile and a shrug. While he was glad to receive our praise, he had nothing to say or add to the discussion. A truly humble person
doesn’t feel compelled to <i>talk</i> about their accomplishments. This is a fine quality in a human
being.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Optima;">Introspection and sensitivity
are not qualities we usually associate with men and even less often with pro
football players. Nevertheless, they are qualities we ought to encourage and
allow space for in our sons. An interviewer recently asked Lynch how he felt
about being perceived as a thug. It was a heartbreaking moment in <a href="http://espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs/2014/story/_/id/12232435/the-misunderstood-marshawn-lynch-why-seattle-seahawks-running-back-trust-media">the interview</a>
because the viewer can actually <i>see</i> how the charge affected Lynch. He
paused for some time, rubbed his hands, thought deeply. His answer, when he
offered it, was both insightful and profound. He challenged his detractors to
think about his life’s context—growing up poor, sometimes with little to eat
and wearing the same clothes for a week at a time and then to imagine getting
everything you wanted or dreamed of. He challenged those people to consider the
mistakes they might make in those circumstances. But he didn’t end there or let
himself off the hook. He offered a challenge to himself: to keep striving to be
“the best me I can be.” As a mom, this is what I want for my kids: the ability
to honestly self assess, to own their mistakes, and to move forward confidently
and with intentions to do better and to be better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Optima;">While I'm not a fan of athlete "role models"--we could do a whole lot worse than Marshawn Lynch. </span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jenny Thigpenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137266663521304495noreply@blogger.com0